This picture has been all over social media…
Why, of course I can pray
that his burden goes away,
but, why ruin such a well scripted act.
For if in God he believes, then God it must be
who’ll grant relief to his poor aching back.
The issue, you see, lies in what he believes,
as he’ll insist it’s a spiritual fact,
that a preacher is cursed, by the burden of his church, to live with a hunched over back.
The answer, I believe, is quite simple you see;
teach your flock to stop tithing in cash.
Most pastors today, wish the plates just go away, as the weight puts a strain on their backs.
At the end of the mass, when they’re counting the cash and chasing coins that keep rolling away, into bags its all placed and then dragged to a space where no auditor is likely to stray.
It’s because of this weight, those heavy bags and that strain, that his back aches forever in pain.
Dragging bags of the money and bending over quite funny, is why a preacher still stoops to this day.
He needs to embrace, this new modern age,
using credit cards, checks and EZ-pay.
For the sheep of today, won’t even think to complain, when you ask for their accounts in God’s name.
No more plates, no more weight, no more dragging, no more strain, no more pictures of you, stooped over in pain.
Soon you’ll stand straight, before St. Peter’s Pearly Gates and we’ll see if that money gets you in.